I woke up this morning to the growing baby in my belly doing her morning gymnastics routine and the toddler in the next room singing at the top of his lungs. My sweet husband happened to be home (which is usually not the case by the time I wake up) so I was surrounded by the voices and touch of the people I get to call my family. Such sweet sounds and feelings to wake up to. Such a sweet reminder of the blessings I have.
“God is so good”. I hear my little 2-year-old’s voice singing it so often. But it is so true isn’t it? He knew that on this morning, especially, I needed a cheerful little boy’s singing and a growing, healthy girl’s kicks and the strength of my husband still there beside me.
One year ago today we heard the heartbreaking news that our tiny baby had gone on to meet Jesus. Although it is an emotional day for us and quite a few tears have been shed, the wiggling in my belly is a constant reminder that God is Faithful.
Our faith was not always big enough and all too often we were confused and afraid. But HE was faithful. He knew the lessons we needed to learn and the areas that needed strengthening. It was not the path we would have chosen for ourselves but our Father knows what we need.
I think we can look back at this year as one of the most intense growing seasons in both of our spiritual lives. And for that we are thankful.
“…and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith” – Hebrews 12:1-2
Another song I sing with my toddler (yes, these are the songs stuck in my head all day) comes straight from Proverbs 3:5-6 and has been playing in my head today.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.”
Can I trust Him with my whole heart? My own understanding was not enough to get me through this year. I didn’t understand or know what was going on. But I am learning to trust. To trust Him with my whole heart. Even the parts of my heart that are hurting from the events of this year. And the parts of my heart that are overflowing with gratitude for the two little blessings that I do have.
The refining fire is not a pain-free experience. But I pray that we would long to keep on being refined into the image of our Savior Jesus Christ.